Monday, December 10, 2007

So wrong.

That's the feeling I got when I stepped into office today.

And I know it's gonna be this way until my last day on Christmas Eve. Can't stop people from having double standards after they learn of my resignation. The world's like that. But It is a joy to leave a company that is doomed eventually.

I haven't gotten the pre-interview jitters for a long time, and I started getting it last night.

I think this happens when the job means something to me? I've been to tonnes of interviews and sometimes I just walk in feelin emotionless. You just can't deceive yourself sometimes (but I know of some people who CAN, and fuck they really can), and if you don't really want the job, it shows, one way or another.

But for the interview later, I hope that I can make it. But it is all God's arrangement and if I don't I'll just have to move on. Life's too short to feel sorry and regret and all that crap. I'm guilty of all the negative emotions and I will really try not to waste anymore of my precious life on them.

That includes not being bothered by how others think of me and subconsciously comparing myself to those who are better off.

We are comparing everyday, all the time, and we forget that we are.

I was in La Senza buying some undies and at the cashier. In front of me was this family - the mum and three teenage girls I presume to be the daughters. They bought $500+ worth of lingerie (the cashier prodly 'announced'). The dad came over to the counter and put his arms around the mum and one of the girls asking them if 'that's all' and he paid for the items. They then walked out of the store hand in hand, discussing where to head to for dinner.

I was like, how I wish my family was like that. Nice Sunday shopping and dinner trips, such close relationship with all family members. Paying for a $500+ leisure shopping tab effortlessly.

[To be continued...]