Friday, December 14, 2007

Scream, shout! (In your head!)

Why don't you actually scream, or shout in real life?

Maybe you should.

But on the other hand, you shouldn't.

Some people just don't get it. They don't and probably never will.

I need the ME time again. Somewhere far away with nobody else. I really need to. I figure that no one really gets it.

Before I fall deep into my thoughts again, I have a Christmas dinner to attend now.

I'm gonna be such an odd one out because of one simple reason. Anyhow, I will try to make it work. Whatever it is, it is bad timing. I am in no mood to socialize. But, for my grandparents' sake, I will at least try to. How contradicting I am.

But I can't stop feeling so used. In this cruel world everyone uses someone to their advantage and I'm sick of being a bridge for things and then not having any recognition.

Any noble bugger will step up to me and tell me to be more generous with my thinking, to not be so calculative.

Okay, YOU are great but I am not.

I'm just a normal, selfish, petty being with one real thing called EMOTIONS.

Anyway, anyone with logic can try to talk to me now and it will fall into deaf ears.

I don't understand how you fuckers survive and I won't go try and understand.








Look at the number of "I" included in this post. What does it suggest?

I'm so full of myself.

And YOU. You just don't get it as well. Go ahead and be merry and happy. I will heal my own unhappiness.

You don't get it and you don't try to get it. That is too bad for me.

I can't deprive you of your happiness.

I just so can't entertain anyone today. But I could put up a front so well for the walk in customers.

I've grown. I've become one of those plastic humans who can pretend so well.

Maybe I will 'improve' and integrate to a plastic smiley doll.

Happy now?