Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I've been really eating like crazy (well at least, crazy by my standards), chucking junk into my mouth these few days, on top of regular meals, that is.

Gone are the days of extreme self-control when it comes to food. I still restrict myself sometimes, but the 'sometimes' is really once in a blue moon.

However, I still drink alot of tea - slimming tea, rose tea, chinese tea, green tea, what-have-you teas, I weigh myself quite often, I check the mirror constantly for flab (and yes I'm so flabby now) and I do all the things a paranoid anorexic does. But the difference is, I eat and indulge more now.

For instance, if I really wanted that chocolate, I'd get it and finish everything.

I know I'm not exactly hungry but I just want to munch on something - this is the classic habit of an emotional eater. I wonder what's bothering me? I just eat. And eat. And the recent irritation from my piercing (raw and slightly painful) makes me reach out for a snack more.

And right now I'm feeling sad that the pretty pink packet (the cheena pink pack with all the peach pictures) of peach plums I'm holding is finishing (mercilessly). LOL... pretty pink packet peach plums. Did you notice that everything starts with 'p'. Sigh... Wtf is up with me.

Although I can counter the effects of such eating by my 2 - 3 times of jogging, I CAN'T NOW. Because of the piercing... I can't really do big actions. Can't jog and strictly no ab exercises too! No sex too? LOL.

I can't use a squatting toilet also. Sounds bad right... The two (and only) good things probably are:

1) the piercing looks so pretty especially when the diamony tops shimmer and shine!!
2) i have to keep my posture unnaturally straight to avoid pressing on the piercing.. god posture I have now??

Anyway, no regrets doing it, just hope that it heals soon =(

Wll be seeing ZQ on Friday night, I hope it doesn't affect our hugs =)

After some thought and his slight agreement, I conclude I'm really a lousy gf to ZQ. Can someone tell me how to change and improve my role as his partner?