Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Maybe mine and Ling's blog should be combined because I seriously think that we have so much (emotions) in common.

(So much in common, except that I'm jobless now)

Why do we allow anyone or anything, to affect our mood so much?

Why can't we quit it, and totally embrace ourselves and stop our bodies and souls from getting hurt?

Why do we allow the anger, distraught or pain to penetrate us?

Those (upsetting people or issues) have already robbed us of so much time, time we could have spent smiling instead.

Why do humans succumb to negative emotions?

It is a brand new year, once again.

Three hundred over days have just passed us by in a flash.

Are we going to continue to ALLOW bad emotions to get us down?

Strangely, within TODAY, the first day of 2008, I hear and see quite alot of my friends in both HAPPY, ANGRY and DISAPPOINTED forms. Yes, all three.

1. Irene and Joanne, happily married ladies. Had a short meetup with Irene and her hubby in their cosy home (hubby ironing clothes, ah, totally a desirable trait). Today, they celebrate their first year wedding anniversary (congrats!) and on the 10th, they'll be heading to Cape Town for their wedding photoshoot. Bubbly Joanne, also in her sweet home with her hyperactive daughter Nicolette, keeping us busy the whole afternoon! Children do bring joy sometimes but I must admit not being so good with kids. Also, Joan and her hubby will welcome an additional member in May!

Seeing them makes one want to build a sweet little home too...

Today I also learnt these of my two friends live in the SAME BLOCK. It is really a huge coincidence. That is why I visited Irene as well...!

2. The young Reen, tearing over her very insensitive boyfriend and wondering if she is to waste anymore of her youth in the relationship; I instantly think of myself when I was 20. Some things that happened. Maybe. this IS a phase of life. People change. Mindsets change. I look at Reen and I cannot believe how I was only 19 and turning 24 this coming May.

What could've been, (or should've) would never have anymore.

3. Yan, disappointed at how her long time boyfriend made some insensitive remarks; does being together for 7 years give him the reason to be careless with his remarks to her?

SO much abut my friends. What about myself?






I am such a horrible person. I look back at 2007 and I see all the horrid things I've done.

I'm not so much of a resolutions person and I find it disgusting but I must tell you that I do have a mental list. But I often end up condeming the resolutions and eventually condemning thyself, when I fail to fufill even half of those crap I list down.

Just like how I lowered my head in shame when that bugger recited the blardy NINE VIRTUES that day.

Once you bloody talk about self control I straight away know that I've FAILED terribly.

To me, someone with self control is someone who doesn't lose his temper, doesn't swear, doesn't spend unnecessarily and doesn't make rash decisions. Basically someone who is like, with self control? Damn.

Anyway this sucks.

Most of the time I lose myself because I let emotions take me over.

Frankly I don't know how the fuck I will be able to overcome this.

And like I've blogged before, I can't even be bothered to explain to anyone, just anyone at all my emotions - because no one really gets it.

Sometimes, I think that I should be alone. Because no one can live up to my standards.

I am such an unfair person for I seem to have so many 'standards' for others but I myself really suck.

Those who hate me will be so glad to see that I admit to being a SUCKY person, but hey, don't gloat yet, cos YOU are worst. If I hate you I'm sorry to say you are bloody fucked up. If you think you're such a wonderful and well-liked person, the people who agree with you have got stamps on their eyes. FUCK OFF.

And for those people I really love I cherish you so much, and I do see us hanging out till even a leg is in the coffin (and eventually, both legs).

To end this entry I would like to tell ZQ:

You haven't done anything wrong this whole 2007 except that you've failed to guess my heart and you never really bother to think deeper until I create more noise.

I'm one tough partner to be with but since you agreed on 15th July 2006, please do something about it. Otherwise, you may breach this contract.

Yours sincerely,

Kitty Tham.