Saturday, November 22, 2008

The more I dream of it, the more romance I can feel.

Who would've thought that this day, the most important day for anyone (okay, maybe for most people), would come so quickly for me?

It may be hasty, it may be unplanned, it may not be a big deal for some people, but believe me that these factors certainly don't make the whole thing any less romantic.

Since the day we decided, (or rather, Heaven decided to give us this lovely surprise - well it sounds nonsensical but I always believe that everything's fated), nothing else matters much for now, except for my solemnization with ZQ next year.

Minus the recent stress and outbreaks I experienced, every single day I'm dreaming of how I will finally become a Mrs! I am a human body filled with excitement cells.

It just dawned onto me again that life is so short, and a very simple thing actually. How the marriage will mark another stage of my life and how the next, and next stages will come and how I will eventually perish just like any other human being. Each time I think of this I shake my head disapprovingly at how I can allow myself to waste time (my life) doing the following at times:

- Procrastinating
- Being hateful and vengeful
- Throwing tantrums
- Being uncontented and complaining
- Not making the first move for various situations
- Not doing my best at work or assignments
- Trying to take advantage of people (we all have this evil thing in us, so don't deny!)
- etc etc etc

Mum and Aunt just attended a funeral for one of our relatives... I think it's my great grand aunt or something, and she was 92 when she passed on. And my Aunt was sighing and saying how 'even a hero, has to die in the end' (my great grand aunt was a very very good person). Yes, nothing is permanent and the end will come, only a matter of time.

To me, having lived for almost a quarter of a century, I've got to admit that I haven't really learnt to be the 'nirvana person', one who's learn to be magnanimous, selfless, contended; one who gives unconditionally and one who's just a GOOD human being, giving, accepting and living life to the fullest.

It's about time I woke up.

2008 had been quite a year... Tears and joy and everything. Everything to do with my family, friends, career, EVERYTHING.

Some problems which I've solved I feel proud and glad for, but some problems, for e.g., my good friends like Ling - I frankly do not know what to say... but I've always prayed for everyone's happiness too...

Just 83 days to my big day, that is, if everything can be confirmed by this week!

I can barely control my emotions!!! I need my family, and my gf's... and most of all, the guy who finally opened his mouth to say a 'wife' lately! He is so 'law-by-law', seriously.

Good weekends my loves.